Feeling confident about my body after an S-ICD

Amy Millns was just 27 when she suffered a cardiac arrest in her sleep in July 2018. Amy was rushed to hospital where she was diagnosed with Long QT syndrome and told she would need to have an S-ICD (subcutaneous implantable cardioverter defibrillator) implanted to help treat any future dangerous heart rhythms.

An S-ICD works in a similar way to a standard ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator), but it’s inserted further down, under the armpit and on top of the ribs and the lead does not go into the heart vessels.

“I’d never heard of an S-ICD before,” Amy says. “I don’t think I really accepted that it was a permanent thing. I panicked about having something so visibly obvious and what it would feel like.”

“I remember my best friend trying to cheer me up by sending me a photo of a rugby player who had an S-ICD and she was trying to reassure me that I’d be able to carry on with my usual lifestyle – but it actually just freaked me out as he was so muscly, the area around his S-ICD was very toned so it looked huge.”

If you have an ICD you may be advised against contact sports, so always check with your doctor first.

After the S-ICD was implanted, Amy noticed a decline in her body confidence, especially when looking in the mirror and trying on clothes. She says it took her at least 12 months to become less conscious and less protective of her S-ICD. 

She says: “I wish I had asked for help with the body images issues I experienced, rather than keeping it all to myself. It was barely spoken about during my recovery.” 

“The one thing that I’m still working on is wearing a bikini, as I feel it’s much more obvious then,” she says. “But I guess I’m learning that it’s something I notice about myself much more than other people do.” 

“Now I can honestly say that my S-ICD feels part of my body and I think about it a lot less than I used to.” 

Less than two years on since the incident, Amy went on a five-month trip around the world, in which she did a range of activities including paragliding and jet skiing.  

“The only thing I don’t feel quite brave enough to do yet is sleep on the side where it’s inserted, but it’s incredible how my body has adjusted so far, so who knows – maybe one day!”