How to deal with uncertainty

Whats on this page?

• What is uncertainty?
• Why is uncertainty so uncomfortable?
• Pulling yourself back to the present
• 4 tips to ground yourself
• Connecting with your values
• Practicing self-kindness
• Limiting your information intake
• Helping others to support you
• When to seek help

What is uncertainty?

Dr Ashley Tiplady, Clinical Psychologist at Newcastle upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust, has been researching uncertainty and how people deal with it since 2014. She says uncertainty is “not knowing”. “It’s the things in life that aren’t yet known to us, or that we’re not yet sure about.”

Your mind might skip to the future and suddenly you feel uneasy.

Your mind might skip to the future, and you think “what if I have health issues that I don’t know about?” or “what if coronavirus rears its head again?” Suddenly, you may feel very uneasy.

“You might not have the words to describe it, but you could feel it in your body or stomach,” says Dr Tiplady.

Why is uncertainty so uncomfortable?

“Uncertainty about the future can be as big as our imagination, and that is terrifying,” says Dr Carla Croft, Clinical Psychologist at Barts Health NHS Trust. Humans crave safety and security. And if we don’t have the answers, our minds can assume we are in danger. Dr Tiplady says: “We might think being uncertain and being unsafe are the same thing.”

If you stop and think about it, uncertainty has always been a part of life.

It can be useful to remember that uncertainty isn’t new. Dr Croft says: “People often think they had certainty before their health problems started. But if you stop and think about it, uncertainty has always been a part of life.”

Whilst you can’t control an uncertain future, you have some control over how you react to it. “Rather than fighting against uncertainty, you can build skills to help you respond to it in a more helpful way,” says Dr Croft.

Pulling yourself back to the present

When you catch yourself fixating on the future, there are things you can do to pull yourself back to the present moment and remind yourself that you are safe.

Mindfulness, which means focusing on the present moment, your own thoughts and feelings, and the world around you, is often recommended as a technique to improve mental wellbeing.

“Sometimes people with health problems find the word ‘mindfulness’ a little frustrating. You may think “I’ve got a heart condition. A bit of mindfulness isn’t going to help me,” says Dr Croft. “You don’t need to do mindfulness meditation if it feels uncomfortable for you. You might find that cooking, yoga, prayer, writing in a diary, or listening to music can help to ground you,” she adds.

Find something that you can fully engage in, that anchors you in the present. Be patient with yourself as you figure out what works best for you. The below grounding exercises might help.

Connecting with your values

Focusing on things you can control, as well as what’s important to you, can help you to navigate uncertainty.

Living in a way that matches what’s important to you can offer a sense of stability.

For example, if you’re someone who loves to travel, the pandemic may have caused a lot of disappointment. In this situation, you could consider why you value travel. If it’s the quality time spent with family, you could plan a group activity closer to home.

If it’s the culture and food, you could try your hand at cooking a new cuisine, read books or watch documentaries about other cultures, or maybe visit a museum that interests you.

While many things in life are outside of our control, living in a way that matches what’s important to you can offer a sense of stability.

Practicing self-kindness

It’s ok to feel uncomfortable about uncertainty, says Dr Croft: “Rather than grabbing for certainty, we need to sit with uncertainty and recognise that it feels uncomfortable.” By showing yourself compassion in difficult situations, you can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.

For example, if you were waiting for surgery, and found out that it had been postponed, you might feel anxious or upset. You could choose to say to yourself: “This is a difficult situation, and it’s completely understandable that I am feeling like this.”

Limiting your information intake

When the future is unclear, you may find yourself constantly looking up information. But spending too much time researching may make you feel worse – especially if the information is unreliable. Limiting how often you seek out information, and getting it from fewer, high-quality sources can be helpful.

Helping others to support you

It’s normal to seek reassurance from those around you, but you may find that hearing someone say “I’m sure you’ll be fine” doesn’t make you feel any better. Even hearing a medical professional tell you that your situation is positive might not be enough to quieten all your worries.

Dr Croft says: “What you really need someone to say is: “I can see you are feeling uncertain, it’s normal to feel like this. The future is uncertain, and that can be scary. Let’s find ways to manage it.”

It’s normal to feel like this. The future is uncertain, and that can be scary.

Let family and friends know how they can best support you. You could ask them to focus on listening, rather than assuring you that everything will be ok. Or you could tell them that you are trying to become more comfortable with uncertainty, and need reassurance that your worries are normal.

When to seek help

If you are feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, and it’s getting in the way of your life, ask your GP for a referral for psychological therapy.

If you live in England, you can refer yourself through the NHS talking therapies service. You may be offered talking therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

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