Sex and relationships when you have a heart condition

Is safe to have sex if I have a congenital heart condition?

Having sex is safe if you have a congenital heart condition. 

Many people tell us they fear a heart event like a heart attack during sex. The probability of this happening is very low, especially if you have a stable condition. Choosing a partner who you trust enough to talk about your concerns with, will mean that they can be aware of how you feel.

If you have any of the below symptoms, you should avoid sex or any other physical activity and see a doctor as soon as possible:

• tightness or pain in the chest
• shortness of breath
• feeling faint or dizzy
• palpitations or an irregular heartbeat. 

Regular physical activity can keep your heart healthy and may make you feel more confident during sex. 

Should I talk to my partner about sex and my condition? 

If you have concerns you should always feel comfortable enough to speak to your partner. Try: 

• having a date night so that you’re both comfortable and alone 
• starting positively, by saying you enjoy intimacy with your partner
• telling them that your heart condition sometimes makes you concerned about having sex 
• using “I” as it makes the thoughts and feelings personal to you and gives them a chance to have their input.

Sex should always be agreed by both people, and be something you feel ready for. (Remember in the UK the legal age of consent is 16 years old.) 

Don’t feel embarrassed to ask your healthcare team about sex. They’ll be used to answering questions on this topic and can offer you advice and support.

If you want to talk to your healthcare professional but find it too embarrassing, try printing out some information instead. Take it to your appointment, and say you'd like to discuss what’s written on the page. Everything you tell a doctor or nurse is confidential. This means they can’t tell anyone without your permission, unless you or someone else is at risk of harm.

• For more information and sexual health advice, visit the NHS local services search tool. 
   

What problems might I have with sex and my congenital heart condition?

Some young men commonly experience problems with getting or keeping an erection. This is called erectile dysfunction (ED). ED is mostly caused by stress and anxiety, and will usually improve with time and patience. It might help to take a break from sex if this is happening to you.

Sometimes ED can be a side effect of the medication men take for their heart condition. This might be something you feel embarrassed talking about, but doctors and nurses are used to having these conversations. You won’t be the first person to ask.

If you feel your heart condition is affecting your confidence or relationships in any way, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to your cardiologist or nurse specialist, they’re there to help you.

For more on what to do if you’re having problems with sex, visit the Family Planning Association.

Should I use contraception?

Yes. Contraception is important for women with a congenital heart condition as an unplanned pregnancy could cause problems with your heart.

Speak to your doctor if you want to come off contraception and try for a baby. Also, remember that not all types of contraception protect you against HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Your local family planning and sexual health clinics can give you confidential advice about pregnancy, contraception and screening for HIV and STIs.

What contraception can I use?

There are lots of types of contraception to choose from. Different types suit different people. All contraception is free on the NHS in the UK, so you don’t need to pay for it.

It’s important for both partners to practice safe sex – it’s not just one person’s responsibility.

Talk to your specialist nurse or cardiologist about the safest contraception for you. Common options are condoms or the combined pill – this can come with risks when you have a heart condition so speak to a doctor about the best option for you. 

Contraception can sometimes be taken by women who have problems caused by their hormones such as:

• heavy, irregular or prolonged periods
• acne
• mood swings.

What do I do if my contraception doesn’t work?

Always try to think about contraception before you have sex, not after. However, sometimes accidents happen. It is important to know what to do if your normal method of contraception fails, for example:

• when a condom splits
• if you realised you’ve forgotten to take your pill
• if you forgot to use contraception.

Women can use emergency contraception when this happens. It’s good to use in an emergency, but it doesn’t always work. It also doesn’t protect you from HIV or STIs.

What about the emergency contraceptive pill?

If you’re over 16, you can buy the emergency contraceptive pill from most chemists.

Because the emergency contraceptive pill is more effective the sooner you take it, it's important to get advice as quickly as possible. Speak to your nurse specialist or cardiologist about whether the emergency contraceptive pill is safe for you to take with your heart condition.

Thinking about starting a family?

Ideally, women with a heart condition should plan their pregnancies and speak to their cardiologist or nurse specialist first. This is so that both you and your baby can be monitored closely throughout your pregnancy to be sure you’re both safe and healthy. Any problems can be treated quickly to help avoid any harm to you or your baby.

At specialist cardiology centres you'll find cardiac nurse specialists and cardiologists who are experienced in giving advice on contraception and managing pregnancies.

The Somerville Foundation also provides detailed information for women with a congenital heart condition who wish to start a family.

Will my baby have a congenital heart condition too?

There’s an increased risk of a baby having a congenital heart condition if one or both parents do. However, it’s more likely that the baby won’t have any heart problems at all. Your cardiologist or nurse specialist will be able to talk through the risks with you.

You may need tests to check how well your heart would cope with pregnancy, and adjustments to any your medications that might harm an unborn baby. 

Lots of women with congenital heart conditions have babies. The most important thing to remember is to speak to your cardiologist or nurse specialist in advance so your pregnancy can be properly planned for.

• Find out more about pregnancy and contraception whilst living with a heart condition.