25 April 2005
Am actually going to quit this time. Am very happy but its cos i know im going to suceed (if thats how you spell it). Could also be the mcdonalds i had yesterday.Hahaha
:O( i ***ed up again its cos i keep getting really bored and thinking bout it then do it to pass the time. Made a pact with my friend tom yesterday and im not going to break it as i have so much respect for him. Cant be bothered to try and stay strong this time. I know i dont need to as that pact means more to me then smoking so it shouldnt be too difficult. The big difference is i didnt smoke this morning. The thing i am most looking forward to is not having mucus at the back of my throat ne more and not smelling bad. Just want to be healthy again. Am going for a jog when i get home. Soo looking forward to being healthy.Will let you know how it goes.xxx
22 April 2005
Im sorry i was too weak to resist.So ive had to start again today. I know i should have probably given it a bit longer before trying again but its not that im so addicted that i cant stop its just that i get bored and think what can i do to pass the time.Then i found one of my mums.So anyways trying again today.Plus my bf is home( dont kno if you can really call him that) but neways hes home today and hes half the reason im doing this. Going to face the ultimate test tonight. Going pubs. Ahhhh. But i dont think I'll be drinking either tho. Also the smell of other people smoking really really makes me want to hurl. So it should be ok so long as no one offers. Have to keep looking at my list to remind myself why i'm doing this as i absolutley love the sociable aspects of it. Just all the others are so bad. Oh well. I shall try and be stronger today. xx
21 April 2005
Was really really weak this morning. So weak im ashamed of myself. I just had to have that last little one. Im regretting it so much now cos it'll be the end of tomorrow before i can say i haven't smoked for one day. It also means im tempted to smoke more today as it doesnt seem to significant as ive already had one. BUT i shall try my very hardest not to. How hard can it be. I know I've done more difficult things in my life that this. So in com***on this should be easy. Im at school all day today and then working later so i wont have much opportunity. The only thing I have to avoid is Claire in the car on the way to work. If i can say no to her then I should be able to do this standing on my head.